super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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