All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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