i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize