Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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