He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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