Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
