better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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