eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
