Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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