Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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