saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
