She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
