On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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