Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize