Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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