Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
