Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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