i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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