I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i will never coherently bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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