? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
