You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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