No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
