I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
