they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
