his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
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Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
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Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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