i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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