fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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