Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
