May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
