I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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