I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
