Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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