i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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