you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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