Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
That's when you crack a 10am beer
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
