Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
