At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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