Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
