She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
