sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
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Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
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the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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