I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
