i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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