I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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