No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
