Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
