you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
