I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
