I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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