I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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