dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize