Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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